lost and found for the soul
all i hear is a muffled dog's bark and a car in need of muffler repairs. i'm alone in my apartment, and i'm glad for the relative silence.
it's been an exhausting couple of weeks. i've been on the go without much time to rest. do you know what happens when you don't rest? you forget you have a soul. but more on that later. ...first, the basics of my past two weeks:
-i finished my semester as a professor at GVSU. ...there are no more papers to grade, and i couldn't be happier about it. -i went to Florida for the Easter weekend to visit a friend and, while i was there, ran 4 miles instead of 3...by accident. i meant to run 3, but i missed the 1.5-mile turn-around and ended up running 4 miles instead. ...one of the few times absentmindedness turned out to be good for me.
-i attended the Calvin College Festival of Faith and Writing this weekend. absolutely delightful. i went in thinking i'd learn the "how to's" of writing, but it really felt more like i was basking in the pleasant and shocking words, personalities and beliefs of the various speakers. yes, i came away not with writing assignments but with a booklist. but when i think about my writing and what it will take to make it good or at least better, i think reading well-written literature is a great starting point, along with consistent writing exercises.
one thing i did realize :: the more i write, the less i worry about what people think. writing has the ability to drown out my worries and insecurities, because when with people, instead of worrying and feeling insecure, i'm busy paying attention to little details of their character and our surroundings. instead of squinting into the bright light of their expectations or -- more likely -- my own expectations of me, my worries and insecurities are filtered out as if by sunglasses, and i am safe enough to freely take in and respond to the wonders of the world around me.
-i took my sister's senior pix today. we digressed into a session of Photos with Sass at one point...and here is a result of our di...well, several results of our diversion...
isn't she gorgeous??
and now a bit more on "if you don't rest, you forget you have a soul." ...let me start by saying that i'm probably the world's worst person at relaxing. i mean, i know it's good for me to relax, but i find it exceedingly difficult. i'd rather be productive. ...i recently had a conversation with a friend about how i'm afraid that, should i ever find myself on a honeymoon, i'd be bored. i know, i know. this is an obviously ridiculous thing to worry about. i assure you, i'm not honestly worried about figuring out what to do on a honeymoon. but my point is that i'm seriously bad at relaxing.
and then i was thinking... sleep is one very important form of relaxing. i've heard sleep be compared with death; each night of sleep is a little death and each morning a new birth. i'd take this further and say that it's the soul that dies and is born every evening and morning. the death and rebirth of the soul, every night and every morning. we lose our souls when we move too quickly from day to day, not allowing time for God to be God while we cease productivity, desire and will to act.
Modern Man [Is] in Search of a Soul? Well, to Jung I say that it's because Modern Man is sleep deprived. And that makes me a very Modern Man at the moment, a Modern Man in Search of my Soul.
So to sleep I must go. Good night.
CURRENTLY READING :: Walter Brueggeman The Covenanted Self [just completed]. Fyodor Dostoevsky The Brothers Karamazov. Anne Lamott Bird by Bird. Salman Rushdie Midnight's Children.
it's been an exhausting couple of weeks. i've been on the go without much time to rest. do you know what happens when you don't rest? you forget you have a soul. but more on that later. ...first, the basics of my past two weeks:
-i finished my semester as a professor at GVSU. ...there are no more papers to grade, and i couldn't be happier about it. -i went to Florida for the Easter weekend to visit a friend and, while i was there, ran 4 miles instead of 3...by accident. i meant to run 3, but i missed the 1.5-mile turn-around and ended up running 4 miles instead. ...one of the few times absentmindedness turned out to be good for me.
-i attended the Calvin College Festival of Faith and Writing this weekend. absolutely delightful. i went in thinking i'd learn the "how to's" of writing, but it really felt more like i was basking in the pleasant and shocking words, personalities and beliefs of the various speakers. yes, i came away not with writing assignments but with a booklist. but when i think about my writing and what it will take to make it good or at least better, i think reading well-written literature is a great starting point, along with consistent writing exercises.
one thing i did realize :: the more i write, the less i worry about what people think. writing has the ability to drown out my worries and insecurities, because when with people, instead of worrying and feeling insecure, i'm busy paying attention to little details of their character and our surroundings. instead of squinting into the bright light of their expectations or -- more likely -- my own expectations of me, my worries and insecurities are filtered out as if by sunglasses, and i am safe enough to freely take in and respond to the wonders of the world around me.
-i took my sister's senior pix today. we digressed into a session of Photos with Sass at one point...and here is a result of our di...well, several results of our diversion...
isn't she gorgeous??
and now a bit more on "if you don't rest, you forget you have a soul." ...let me start by saying that i'm probably the world's worst person at relaxing. i mean, i know it's good for me to relax, but i find it exceedingly difficult. i'd rather be productive. ...i recently had a conversation with a friend about how i'm afraid that, should i ever find myself on a honeymoon, i'd be bored. i know, i know. this is an obviously ridiculous thing to worry about. i assure you, i'm not honestly worried about figuring out what to do on a honeymoon. but my point is that i'm seriously bad at relaxing.
and then i was thinking... sleep is one very important form of relaxing. i've heard sleep be compared with death; each night of sleep is a little death and each morning a new birth. i'd take this further and say that it's the soul that dies and is born every evening and morning. the death and rebirth of the soul, every night and every morning. we lose our souls when we move too quickly from day to day, not allowing time for God to be God while we cease productivity, desire and will to act.
Modern Man [Is] in Search of a Soul? Well, to Jung I say that it's because Modern Man is sleep deprived. And that makes me a very Modern Man at the moment, a Modern Man in Search of my Soul.
So to sleep I must go. Good night.
CURRENTLY READING :: Walter Brueggeman The Covenanted Self [just completed]. Fyodor Dostoevsky The Brothers Karamazov. Anne Lamott Bird by Bird. Salman Rushdie Midnight's Children.
1 Comments:
Hey, I'm reading "Bird by Bird" too! Excellent so far. Paul convinced me I had to read it and even got me a copy -- very thoughtful of him! I am however only a couple chapters into it because, in true ADD fashion, I have several books going at the same time and my "must read" list is no doubt as long as yours :)
Post a Comment
<< Home