strain
this is going to have to be short. i'm lying in bed, getting ready to read my before-bed chapter of The Brothers Karamazov -- by Dostoevsky, of course. i figured out that if i read one chapter per night, i'll be done in 9 weeks, 5 days. that puts me at june 1st. good thing i love dostoevsky!
in other news, this weekend felt STRAINED. i woke up friday morning in the worst of moods. i don't know why. i couldn't get my body to wake up. i thought i was going to fall asleep on my way to the university. ...i've drifted in and out of sleep during lectures before, but never during one i was giving! ...then i was watching "Mulholland Drive" (dir. David Lynch, 2001ish), and my roommate renae hated every minute of it. part of me felt like, "um, why don't you just leave the room if you hate it so much," and part of me felt bad for subjecting her to my tastes in cinema. strain again.
saturday brought a fondue party with friends. much fun was had (kudos to kristen and paul for stories of their most embarrassing moments); unfortunately, there were some strained interactions with fellow Fonduers. ...plus, my whole chunk of bread crumbled and got lost in the abyss of the pizza-flavored fondue. what a night!
and again on sunday. i was in a thoroughly grumpy mood by now. renae's sister and brother-in-law are here, and they came to church with us at Mars Hill. it didn't go very well, which can sometimes be the case with first-time visitors to Mars. the name doesn't help it out at all, but on top of that, Mars is very... different from what many people have grown up with and can be a shock to some. needless to say, there were some strained conversations about salvation and what exactly Mars Hill believes.
i think there are other strains going on internally. i'm trying to plan a trip to europe, but i haven't been able to get a hold of the friend i'm going with. and i worked 55 hours two weeks ago and then maybe 15 last week...so my rhythm is fitful and sporadic. i'm sure that has something to do with it too. ...i just can't seem to settle down. strain, strain, strain.
and so...i turn to my nightly reading of Dostoevsky to soothe me. ...though it's ironic... Book IV: Strains. ...Ch. 5: "Strain in the Drawing Room." Ch. 6: "Strain in the Cottage." ...and i quote: "Katerina Ivanova...out of "strain" was deceiving herself and tormenting herslef with her affected love for Dmitri, out of some kind of supposed gratitude..." (Ch. 5).
in other news, this weekend felt STRAINED. i woke up friday morning in the worst of moods. i don't know why. i couldn't get my body to wake up. i thought i was going to fall asleep on my way to the university. ...i've drifted in and out of sleep during lectures before, but never during one i was giving! ...then i was watching "Mulholland Drive" (dir. David Lynch, 2001ish), and my roommate renae hated every minute of it. part of me felt like, "um, why don't you just leave the room if you hate it so much," and part of me felt bad for subjecting her to my tastes in cinema. strain again.
saturday brought a fondue party with friends. much fun was had (kudos to kristen and paul for stories of their most embarrassing moments); unfortunately, there were some strained interactions with fellow Fonduers. ...plus, my whole chunk of bread crumbled and got lost in the abyss of the pizza-flavored fondue. what a night!
and again on sunday. i was in a thoroughly grumpy mood by now. renae's sister and brother-in-law are here, and they came to church with us at Mars Hill. it didn't go very well, which can sometimes be the case with first-time visitors to Mars. the name doesn't help it out at all, but on top of that, Mars is very... different from what many people have grown up with and can be a shock to some. needless to say, there were some strained conversations about salvation and what exactly Mars Hill believes.
i think there are other strains going on internally. i'm trying to plan a trip to europe, but i haven't been able to get a hold of the friend i'm going with. and i worked 55 hours two weeks ago and then maybe 15 last week...so my rhythm is fitful and sporadic. i'm sure that has something to do with it too. ...i just can't seem to settle down. strain, strain, strain.
and so...i turn to my nightly reading of Dostoevsky to soothe me. ...though it's ironic... Book IV: Strains. ...Ch. 5: "Strain in the Drawing Room." Ch. 6: "Strain in the Cottage." ...and i quote: "Katerina Ivanova...out of "strain" was deceiving herself and tormenting herslef with her affected love for Dmitri, out of some kind of supposed gratitude..." (Ch. 5).
1 Comments:
Somedays "strained" is okay. :-) Straining implies a tension, or a force pulling back. And that's good. It's when the tensions are gone and nobody is pulling back that you need to get worried!
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