3.08.2005

p.s. other thoughts on greatness

as a follow-up to my post entitled 'A&E biographies,' in which i discuss the concept of 'greatness,' here are a few quotes on the same subject:

our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. it is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. we ask ourselves, 'who am i to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?' actually, who are you not to be? you are a child of God. your playing small doesn't serve the world. there's nothing enlightened about shrinking, so that other people won't feel insecure around you. we were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within, it's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. aAnd as we let our light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. aAs we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.
~nelson mandela~
there is a man who makes every man feel small. but the real great man is the man who makes every man feel great.
~g.k. chesterton~

3.04.2005

'sins of omission'

notes from 'sins of omission: a primer on moral indifference' by s. dennis ford. (i know 'primer' sounds incredibly dry, but allow me to advocate for this text: the author articulates the widespread state of indifference toward issues of social responsibilty in a way that has changed me more than any book has in a long, long time. i am enlightened...so please, read on):

p. 28: on loose morality as a coping mechanism for the problem of suffering and/or moral relativism: 'the passion to forget, to overwhelm anxiety and the still small voice of conscience, to live perfectly free of inhibitions and taboos, undisturbed by thought in a hedonistic paradise, creates a tremendous market for drugs, entertainment, and the sexual exploitation of both sexes. 'the lost weekend' has entered our common parlance for good reason; it accurately describes and articulates the deepest desires of the sensuality of nothingness. on a social level, [reinhold] niebuhr argued that the flight to nothingness is an expression of philosophical despair over either the world's manifest imperfections or the futility of ever arriving at 'the truth' amid a host of fragmentary, partial viewpoints.'

p. 29: on the comforts of success and power as other causes of indiffernce: 'complacency is indifference squared, a self-satisfied, unassailable, even arrogant form of indifference. complacency is an inert self-satisfactoin. niebuhr found an example of such complacency in the actions of the liberals of his day. faced with the threat of nazism immediately preceding world war II, liberalism was incapable of imagining the evil actions and intentions of the third reich. insulated by their own preconceptions from a realistic appraisal of the situation, the western nations were incapable of believing that hitler would actually invade the scandinavian countries or, in quick succession, france. ...the powerful can afford to stay comfortably submerged in the routines of life precisely because they can do so with impunity. without daily reminders of a wide discrepancy between exprectation and reality, the powerful lack an inherent context for moral reflection and are thus vulnerable to the complacent sloth of nothingness.'

p. 32: are you narcissistic?: 'in addition to passivity, sloth frequently displays a childlike egocentricity in which its victims can only see and act on behalf of their own self-interest. if passivity is the characteristic reponse of sloth, egocentricsm and narcissism represent its characteristic goals. victims of sloth may not be merely passive; indeed, they may be very active in initiating change or even incidentally improving conditions for others. however, if such activity is driven by egocentricity, if its purpose is merely self-aggrandizement, then its perpetrators are nevertheless victims of sloth. adulthood is an expanding circle of responsibility. to be an adult means to accept responsibility not only for oneself but for others as well, including future generations. egocentric people are not without care, but they are slothful because the circle of their care is too small, too egocentric. sloth is associated with the neglect of duty and, ultimately, with withdrawal from others. egocentric persons exhibit both qualities; they neglect duty toward others and, by their self-centeredness, they separate themselves from the community in a way that leads to melancholy. thus those who are egocentric, no less than those who are passive, embody the slothful sins of extended childhood.'

p. 32-3: on the dynamics of sloth: 'physiologically, sloth is sometimes characterized as a defective form of love. in comparison to the other sins, indifference lacks all passion and affection. it is a life deprived of eros. greed, lust, gluttony, envy -- these are sins because in them the passion for things is placed above the desire for god. sloth is the most terrifying and recalcitrant of sins because it is defined not by misplaced passion but by a lack of desire altogether. it is thus, as william may desribes it, 'the shadow of death,' a passionless state for those living without expectation or eros in a colorless world after the death of god. //...sloth is, as dorothy sayers desribes it, the sin that 'believes in nothing, cares for nothing, seeks to know nothing, interferes with nothing, enjoys nothing, hates nothing, finds purpose in nothing, lives for nothing, and remains alive because there is nothing for which it will die.' as such, it is the sin of a defective, inoperative love. //sloth, again physiologically, is sometimes interpreted as a form of physical revulsion. confroted by scenes of a nuclear holocaust, whether in our imaginations or as presented in such widely heralded television movies as the day after and testament, the human soul seems literally incapable of taking in so much horror and destruction. whenever we try to think about nuclear war, we are arrested and feel sick, whereas when we deny our predicament we feel well again and can go about our normal routines. this sense of well-being, based as it is on denial, is a form of insanity because it represents the failure to act in the face of an overwhelming danger. ...'enervation, dulled senses, enfeebled will, stupor, and final paralysis.' ...if we can successfully deny the nuclear issue, we can successfully deny the needs of our next-door neighbor as well.

p. 33: on salvation: 'from a theological perspective, sloth is the sin that most directly bears witness to the need for salvation and to the difficulty of grasping the meaning of salvation existentially. with lust, it is often difficult to perceive what it is that one needs to be delivered from. lust, like most sin, is intrinsically attractive and seductive. sloth is unique because it is inherently unattractive; indeed, it has been descrived as the only sin for which payment is not deferred. no one seeks or decides to become indfferent, to live in a passionless, restless state of noncaring. sltoh is not chosen; on the contrary, it seems to choose and hold its victims captive. to be saved from lust feels like a form of deprivation (or a lack of opportunity); to be delivered from sloth, however, attests to the spirit-filled, enlivening nature of redemption.'

p. 8: on guiding the indifferent toward an understanding of their indifference: 'no one deliberately makes a mistake [for example, the mistake of indifference]. if we think Camus or Kant has made a mistake in his argument, we have an obligation to explain that mistake. we have an obligation to see the presumptions on which a mistaken conclusion is based. ...indifference may be seen as a peculiar type of mistake. so, if i rely on my education rather than my first, gut response, instead of dismissing people who are indifferent to my ideas by labeling them as capitalists or racists or mindless slugs, i have an obligation to explain their mistake from their perspective. only in this way can indifference be genuinely challenged, as it were, from the inside.'

3.02.2005

day 3: notes

and so begins 'day 3.' (these 'days' advance in a manner similar to that of the changing seasons, except in this case the changes are internal. perhaps they are seasons of the soul). i think of my thoughts and emotions as confetti in my brain and heart. i often extract them onto post-it notes and suspend these colorful representations of my interior state on the wall... or the back of my door if they're too personal to be on public display. ...here is some of the confetti from today, this day, this third day:

i'm going to new york! a good friend needs a travel companion for her and her baby, so i'm helping out with the travel and getting a free week in new york!! i want to spend an entire day in the City by myself, i love being alone in the city. of course, i'll spend a good bit of it in new jersey with 'my people' too.

my heart physically hurt today. i was getting worried. maybe i slept wrong last night and made my muscles sore. i feel better now anyway.

i started writing a poem today. the line 'bubbles rise to the surface as my heart in underwater realm exhales' was the initial line.

i visited the 'butterfly garden' today. random factoid: butterflies taste with their feet. one of the blue butterflies was following me around, or at least i like to think she was. is that narcissistic of me? no, perhaps just a romantic notion.

my roommate and i are really good for each other. she makes me laugh and i make her ponder.

i ate chocolate today. dark chocolate, reeses chocolate, semi-sweet chocolate chips. today was a good day.

i've decided the intellect is necessary, though i've been afraid of it in the past due to its misuse. enlightenment is one of the most freeing experiences one can have, and it is necessary to take on the burden of intellectual thought in order to come to this enlightenment; however, there is an intellect that is cowardly and self-indulgent, and this is an upsetting misuse.

do i really want to be ordained? in what denomination? or would i rather work in community development? or clinical social work? ...could i ever survive at harvard divinity school?? crazy people.

i noted today that in the past few months, i've calmed down and become more committed to my close friends instead of perpetually flitting off. a good sign, wouldn't you say?

i realized i need inspiration (one form of which is girl-talk, ugh), which seems mushy for someone who wants to be prepared to take care of herself in a big world. one of my greatest fears is getting scammed by an auto mechanic because i look like someone who could be scammed, so i'm told. so i recently considered trying to get a job at the ada hardward shop just so i could learn more 'handiman' skills. my roommate pointed out that this was rather stupid of me to worry about since we've found an auto mechanic that we've grown to love and trust (yahoo for Skip!); that's why we find people we can trust -- so we don't have to know everything! ...and anyway, i decided that it's best to pursue a nurturing AND intelligent lifestyle, fostering both a healthy interior for the soul's flourishment and also the opportunity for exposure to and discernment of the 'real world,' which is necessary for responsible participation in society.

stories are good for me. i watched entirely too much television last night, including two episodes of 'everybody loves raymond,' two episodes of 'that seventies show,' two episodes of 'seinfeld' and four episodes of 'friends,' summing to five hours of television. all this to say that stories -- even occasionally in the form of sitcoms -- are good for me, though films are my favorite way to participate in stories; to this form of story i commit myself from this day forth. ...and don't worry, i was reading a primer on morality as i watched my five hours of television, lest you worry that the kristin you know and love has been lost to the great abyss.

3.01.2005

memorable quotes from 'gandhi' (1982)

movie quotes:
Whenever I despair, I remember that the way of truth and love has always won. There may be tyrants and murderers, and for a time, they may seem invincible, but in the end, they always fail. Think of it: always.

An eye for an eye only ends up making the whole world blind.

They may break my bones, torture my body, even kill me, then they will have my dead body. NOT MY OBEDIENCE!

real gandhi quotes:
What kind of victory is it when someone is left defeated?

Whether humanity will consciously follow the law of love, I do not know. But that need not disturb me. The law will work just as the law of gravitation works, whether we accept it or not. The person who discovered the law of love was a far greater scientist than any of our modern scientists. Only our explorations have not gone far enough and so it is not possible for everyone to see all its workings.

Man's nature is not essentially evil. Brute nature has been known to yieldto the influence of love. You must never despair of human nature.

'are women human?'

excerpt from 'are women human?'
~dorothy sayers~

let me give one simple illustration of the difference between the right and the wrong kind of feminism. let us take this terrible business... of the women who go about in trousers. we are asked: 'why do you want to go about in trousers? they are extremely unbecoming to most of you. you only do it to copy the men.' to this we may very properly reply: 'it is true that they are unbecoming. even on men they are remarkably unattractive. but, as you men have discovered for yourselves, they are comfortable, they do not get in the way of one's activities like skirts and they protect the wearer from draughts about the ankles. as a human being, i like comfort and dislike draughts. if the trousers do not attract you, so much the worse; for at the moment i do not want to attract you. i want to enjoy myself as a human being, and why not? as for copying you, certainly you thought of trousers first and to that extent we must copy you. but we are not such abandoned copy-cats as to attach these useful garments to our bodies with braces. there we draw the line. these machines of leather and elastic are unnecessary and unsuited to the female form. they are, moreover, hideous beyond description. and as for indecency -- of which you sometimes accuse the trousers -- we at least can take our coats off without becoming the half-undressed, bedroom spectacle that a man presents in his shirt and braces.

so that when we hear that women have once more laid hands upon something which was previously a man's sole prvilege, i think we have to ask ourselves: is this trousers or is it braces? it is something useful, convenient and suitable to a human being as such? or is it merely something unnecessary to us, ugly, and adopted merely for the sake of collaring the other fellow's property?

physics quotes in various loud colors (thad, please be advised as to the color content of this posting: rated R for 'Ridiculously loud and obnoxious')

'everything should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler.'
~a. einstein~

'the most beautiful thing we can experience in the mysterious. it is the source of all true art and science. he to whom this emotion is a stranger, who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe, is as good as dead. his eyes are closed.'
~a. einstein~

'as far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not certain; as far as they are certain, they do not refer to reality.'
~a. einstein~