today i saw...

today i saw...
-a mixture of yellow and golden-brown, crispy and rubbery fallen leaves on the sidewalk. they came half-way up my shins.
-a sign reading, "push yellow button to start pumping gas"...except the button was green...
-the new forest hills schoolbuses.












new "sporty" schoolbuses have lower center of gravity
and larger windows. unfortunately, they look like
an angry yellowjacket. an angry, overweight
yellowjacket. ...and THIS is wave of the future?

-my cds (for the first time since i left them in CA in past june). oh happy day.
-'dear francis' trailer. check out dearfrancis.org for a film on two Americans, Lance and Kelly, who travel Texas to Swaziland to help with an AIDS prevention program. As they work and build relationships, "they discover that the causes of this plauge are much more disturbing and complex than they could have ever imagined" (from dearfrancis.org). ...i'm a PR intern for this film...
-a decidious pine tree (it was turning orange!)

crazy days...

DE-troit

in the DE-troit airport. i've thought about many things on this trip. currently on my mind:

first movement: i'm in need of declawing. renae always tells me i'm like a cat, maintaining a general disaffected independence but occasionally requesting -- rather demanding -- affection. there are additional incidents that contribute to this conviction. when i get hit on, i respond with biting shortness (while bartending a wedding reception, i was approached by a drunk 20-something trying to persuade me to go out with them after the reception. and i wouldn't even tell him my name. smart? maybe. rude? for sure.) or strangers i see looking at me. i glare back at them with the glint of eye that says "mind your own business!" ...maybe there's a gentler alternative that flourishes rather than thrases.

second movement: what leadership is NOT: Adam's roommate Ed was recounting the story of his termination from the position of dorm RA. he didn't strike me as the RA-type from the start, but then the typical leadership style may often be more destructive than helpful anyway. so ed was making light of his RA colleagues who took their leadership role to mean that they had to help people who weren't helping themselves. for example, "joe seems like he's been depressed lately. what do you think he's depressed about? i'm going to go talk to him." or "nancy is a really great girl, but i don't think that guy she's dating is good for her. i need to ask her some questions." ed's remarks were that leadership is NOT mentorship. leaders don't have the authority to speak into people's lives at will; that is the role of a mentor, at best. a leader's role is to provide structure to the community, keep the community creatively pursuing its mission, mediate conflicts and be a resource when approached. i can provide commentary, questions, and ideas which are delivered with context-specific timing, but i should very rarerly say, "you are this or that." Nosey Nancy is not the model of leadership i want to adopt. there are many situations when it's not my place to ask.

third movement: seminary. yes.

fourth movement: until then? this post-college season of desert, of contemplation. also of action. contemplative-active.


remember. a grey sky and a grey ocean. this desert. the pain. the story and the hope. // fun. take time for fun. // take time for work. and do not be distracted. // take time for reflection. limited time... an ingrown toenail doesn't do anything but harm.